"Zoom Pants Covid Purse"

Long time ago

gut bacteria ate Big Macs

but now multi-taskarooni

is the trending casserole.

Even these skinny jeans can’t hold back

this recipe of boredom slathered in frenzy.

Teaching my daughter algebra two

and my son that culture

rhymes with vulture.

Yet I do sit ups and zoom.

I can shop on my phone

for hormone-free chicken

and some Halo Top Keto

Chocolate Cheesecake Ice Cream

while I sell this house

because interest rates are so low

and I will pay

the Organizing Angel to haul

all this stuff bought

at the Amazon mall.

I’ve been waiting for someone

to shut down this world

with a pandemic

so I can finally get skinny

on a walk to the cemetery.

Still I wake up and face is here

saying write this all in your food diary

so future generations will know

where did all the pretty women go?